


i bet your little teen murder howl is so scary i swear to god my monkey instincts are gonna kick in ill be so fucking scared i will shit this bed for you karkat i promise

by itsdave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdave/pseuds/itsdave
Summary: Karkat tells Dave a story.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 40
Kudos: 207





	i bet your little teen murder howl is so scary i swear to god my monkey instincts are gonna kick in ill be so fucking scared i will shit this bed for you karkat i promise

DAVE: no  
KARKAT: YEP.  
DAVE: no  
DAVE: no no no no  
DAVE: i refuse to believe it  
KARKAT: DAVE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.  
KARKAT: IT’S TRUE.  
DAVE: but it makes no fucking sense  
KARKAT: MAYBE NOT ON YOUR BACKWARDS ASS PLANET.  
DAVE: no this should be just like a universal fact  
DAVE: make as many new universes as you damn well please  
DAVE: really get those frog genes swirlin  
DAVE: just make a whole stack of universes piled up like pogs  
DAVE: which are a very real cultural touchstone from mid-90s earth im a little too young for em but i found some at a yard sale once and they were the shit  
DAVE: so just roll with it  
KARKAT: ...OK.  
DAVE: yeah so you slam those universe pogs with your cool holographic skull slammer and they go every which way  
DAVE: you pick up any one at random and zoom in on its celebrity gossip  
DAVE: its always gonna shake out the same  
DAVE: and that way is that  
DAVE: matt damon  
DAVE: and ben affleck  
DAVE: are not in fucking hate love with each other  
KARKAT: DAVE THIS IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!  
KARKAT: THIS ISN’T AN “OPINION” OF YOURS YOU CAN ARGUE WITH ME!  
KARKAT: THIS IS JUST A STONE COLD FACT!  
KARKAT: YOU’RE ARGUING AGAINST A FACT, DAVE!  
KARKAT: AND YOU’RE MAKING *ME* ITS ARBITER!  
DAVE: yeah maybe i can change your mind and you can put in a good word with this so called “fact” for me  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD!  
KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO HARD FOR YOU TO GET??  
KARKAT: IS IT THE FUCKING “GAY” THING AGAIN?  
DAVE: no of course not  
KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’VE REALLY BEEN GIVING ME THE IMPRESSION YOU’RE *WAY* PAST THAT BY NOW.  
DAVE: hahaha  
KARKAT: I MEAN *WAY* PAST!  
DAVE: oh shut the fuck up  
KARKAT: HAHAHA!  
DAVE: no its not that  
DAVE: its just...  
DAVE: i donno  
DAVE: they were such a creative powerhouse  
KARKAT: YEAH, SURE.  
DAVE: ok but  
DAVE: how can you work together like that when you hate each other so much  
DAVE: how can you strap on those big fake wings and deliver such stellar fucking performances as the angels in dogma when all you wanna do is hate bang each other  
DAVE: how are you gonna get anything done  
DAVE: how is alan rickman even gonna get a chance say his lines in between all the angry flirting  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD.  
DAVE: what  
KARKAT: WAIT.  
KARKAT: IS THAT THE MOVIE WHERE DAMON AND AFFLECK ARE ANGELS WHO TRY TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE?  
DAVE: uh yeah  
KARKAT: HOLY SHIT!  
KARKAT: I CAN’T *BELIEVE* YOU BROUGHT THAT UP.  
DAVE: what dogma  
KARKAT: AND ALAN RICKMAN!  
DAVE: oh boy what could this possibly be  
KARKAT: OH IT’S A *WHOLE THING,* DAVE.  
DAVE: bahaha oh yeah?  
KARKAT: YEAH!  
KARKAT: THIS IS SO WEIRD.  
KARKAT: ARE YOU *SURE* YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS ALREADY?  
DAVE: i uh  
DAVE: i dont think so  
DAVE: what is there even to know im so lost dude  
KARKAT: THIS IS INCREDIBLE!  
DAVE: oh my god karkat just tell me  
DAVE: how was this “a thing”  
KARKAT: OK. WOW.  
KARKAT: BUCKLE THE FUCK UP!  
DAVE: oh shit  
KARKAT: OH SHIT IS RIGHT!  
DAVE: hahaha  
KARKAT: OK SO ON THE SET OF OUR VERSION OF DOGMA-  
KARKAT: I WON'T TELL YOU THE TITLE BECAUSE YOU’LL JUST GET BORED HALFWAY THROUGH AND TRY TO SMOTHER ME WITH YOUR CAPE.  
DAVE: you finally caught onto that huh  
KARKAT: I DID.  
KARKAT: *ANYWAY*  
KARKAT: ON THE SET OF ”TROLL DOGMA” AFFLECK AND DAMON’S RELATIONSHIP WAS GETTING REALLY FUCKING HEATED.  
DAVE: wait  
DAVE: hold the fuck up  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: how the fuck did you guys have dogma  
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
DAVE: i mean our dogma was all about judeo christian shit  
DAVE: like jesus and angels the whole nine yards  
DAVE: im talkin REAL foundational human stuff  
DAVE: how did you guys have that  
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
KARKAT: WE HAD PRETTY MUCH THE SAME RELIGION, DAVE.  
KARKAT: YOU’VE HEARD THE STORIES IN THE DREAM BUBBLES.  
KARKAT: IT WAS BASED AROUND *MY* FUCKING ANCESTOR.  
DAVE: oh my god  
DAVE: oh my fucking GOD thats right this storys bullshit just got a trillion times more ridiculously stupid  
KARKAT: SHRUG  
DAVE: ok keep goin  
DAVE: whatever  
DAVE: lets just ride this train all the way to fuckin insane town  
DAVE: maybe itll crash and kill us all and i wont have to think about this anymore  
KARKAT: OK, LET’S DO THAT.  
KARKAT: SO.  
KARKAT: DAMON AND AFFLECK WERE AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS, AND NOT IN A WAY THAT WAS HELPING THEIR CREATIVE PROCESS AT *ALL.*  
KARKAT: THINGS WERE LOOKING REALLY BAD.  
KARKAT: THE MOVIE WAS FALLING BEHIND SCHEDULE.  
KARKAT: TWELVE ASSISTANTS HAD BEEN DISEMBOWELED.  
DAVE: whoa  
KARKAT: AND IT WASN’T AT ALL CLEAR IF BOTH OF THEM WERE GOING TO COME OUT OF THIS MOVIE ALIVE.  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: WANT ME TO KEEP GOING?  
DAVE: sigh  
DAVE: ok  
DAVE: you got me karkat im hooked please tell me what happened next in this epic gay ass hatemance of the silver screen  
KARKAT: OK, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED NICELY.  
DAVE: haha no way you were definitely gonna tell me anyway youre loving this so much  
KARKAT: YEAH, OK.  
KARKAT: I AM.  
DAVE: your eyes are fuckin ALIGHT dude  
KARKAT: SHUT UP!  
KARKAT: THE STORY’S JUST GETTING GOING!  
DAVE: ok  
KARKAT: OK.  
KARKAT: SO THINGS WERE LOOKING ESPECIALLY DIRE ONE DAY.  
KARKAT: EVERYONE HAD WOKEN UP WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY TO GET INTO MAKEUP.  
KARKAT: IT WAS RAINING.  
KARKAT: THE COFFEE MAKER WAS ON THE FRITZ.  
KARKAT: *THERE WAS GOING TO BE BLOOD.*  
DAVE: hahahaha  
KARKAT: THIS IS UNIMAGINABLY FUCKING SERIOUS, DAVE.  
DAVE: whoops sorry  
DAVE: go on  
KARKAT: AND WHAT’S WORSE, DAMON KEPT FORGETTING HIS LINES.  
KARKAT: NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE IF THE FIRST TIME WAS GENUINE OR NOT.  
KARKAT: BUT BY THE SIXTH, IT WAS CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR THAT HE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE JUST TO PISS AFFLECK OFF.  
KARKAT: ON A GOOD DAY, SHIT LIKE THAT WOULD BE FINE.  
KARKAT: IT WAS ALMOST EXPECTED.  
KARKAT: IT WAS PART OF THE CREATIVE HATE FOREPLAY.  
DAVE: gross  
KARKAT: BUT ON THIS DAY, IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH. AND DAMON KNEW IT. HE WAS DELIBERATELY PUSHING HIS KISMESIS PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN.  
KARKAT: JUST TO SEE IF HE HAD THE GLOBES TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  
KARKAT: IF HE DIDN’T, HE’D BE BACKING DOWN FROM THE CHALLENGE AND POSSIBLY WRECKING THEIR KISMESISSITUDE BEYOND REPAIR.  
KARKAT: BUT IF HE ROSE TO THE BAIT, ONE OF THEM WAS FUCKING GOING DOWN, AND MORE LIKELY THAN NOT THEY WERE TAKING HALF THE FUCKING FILM CREW WITH THEM.  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: auugh cmon karkat dont give me that look what happened  
KARKAT: YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?  
DAVE: yes fuckin christ i do this storys stupid as all shit but youre actually telling it pretty well and theres like thirty lives on the line are you kidding me id actually like to know what happened and i refuse to let you shame me for that you dick  
KARKAT: OK, GOOD.  
KARKAT: RIGHT ANSWER.  
KARKAT: SO AFFLECK LET OUT THIS BLOOD CURDLING HOWL.  
KARKAT: IT’S A HOWL ALL TROLLS ARE CAPABLE OF, BUT NONE EVER ACTUALLY DO IT UNLESS THEY’RE WELL AND TRULY GOING IN FOR THE FUCKING KILL.  
DAVE: can you do it  
KARKAT: SURE.  
DAVE: cool lets hear it  
KARKAT: WHAT, NOW?  
KARKAT: IN OUR FUCKING RESPITE BLOCK?  
DAVE: yeah cmon i need sound effects  
DAVE: immerse me in the story dude  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: I CAN’T.  
DAVE: what why  
KARKAT: SIGH. IT’S ACTUALLY SOMETHING ONLY ADULT TROLLS CAN DO.  
DAVE: aw really  
KARKAT: YEAH UM.  
KARKAT: I MEAN I CAN TRY, BUT IT’S GONNA SOUND REALLY FUCKING STUPID.  
DAVE: no please you gotta do it karkat  
DAVE: i bet your little teen murder howl is so scary  
DAVE: i swear to god my monkey instincts are gonna kick in ill be so fucking scared  
DAVE: i will shit this bed for you karkat i promise  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD DAVE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PROMISE ME THAT??  
DAVE: haha cmon try to scare me  
KARKAT: YOU KNOW IN A FEW SWEEPS I’LL BE ABLE TO DO IT FOR REAL AND IT WILL *ACTUALLY* SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.  
DAVE: yeah i bet  
KARKAT: I’M FUCKING SERIOUS, DAVE.  
KARKAT: YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED ANYWHERE NEAR THE BED WHEN I DO IT.  
DAVE: hahahaha  
KARKAT: IT’LL BE A FUCKING *CONCERN.*  
DAVE: ok well cmon just gimme a preview for now while the sheets are safe  
DAVE: please  
KARKAT: SIGH.  
KARKAT: FINE.  
KARKAT: BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE YOU WON’T *FUCKING* LAUGH!  
DAVE: oh my god  
DAVE: karkat if you need to start with that disclaimer i dont know if i can make good on that promise bro  
KARKAT: DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING DO THIS OR NOT?  
DAVE: yes yes i definitely do ok i promise i wont laugh at your adorable murder growl  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: cross my heart  
KARKAT: SIGH.  
KARKAT: OK  
KARKAT: UM  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: ggggrrrrrrrrrrrRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWLLLLLLllllllleeeppp  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: :|  
DAVE: :)  
DAVE: :D  
KARKAT: DAVE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!  
KARKAT: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T *FUCKING* LAUGH!!!!  
DAVE: im not laughing  
DAVE: im smiling  
DAVE: with all my teeth  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU!  
DAVE: am i allowed to do a critique  
KARKAT: NO!  
DAVE: too fucking bad im doin one anyway i didnt promise shit about critiques  
KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!  
DAVE: dude its like in the lion king  
DAVE: when simbas tryna be all tough  
DAVE: and this little beetle marches past and he roars his little princely lion heart out at it  
DAVE: but since hes a tiny little guy it just comes out like a meow like a seriously pissed off housecat at best  
DAVE: the beetle doesnt even look up it doesnt give a FUCK  
DAVE: it just keeps goin about its buggy business  
DAVE: off to find a really choice piece of zebra shit or whatever it is beetles do  
KARKAT: SHUT THE *FUCK* UP DAVE!  
KARKAT: IT WAS *NOT* THAT BAD!  
DAVE: hey i didnt say it was bad when the fuck did you hear me say it was bad  
DAVE: “adorable” would definitely be my word of choice  
KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!  
KARKAT: I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS MEANS YOU’RE THE FUCKING BEETLE, DAVE!  
KARKAT: *YOU’RE* THE ONE ROLLING AROUND IN ZEBRA SHIT!  
DAVE: oh yeah sorry i guess technically thats you too  
DAVE: that makes sense what with your weird bug cat hybrid vibes  
KARKAT: AUUUGHHH!  
KARKAT: I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT!  
KARKAT: YOU FUCKING MADE ME!  
DAVE: yeah and im so fucking glad i did  
KARKAT: IT’S ACTUALLY GONNA BE SCARY AS SHIT WHEN I’M OLDER!  
DAVE: yeah i know simba  
KARKAT: SIMBA FUCKING GREW UP TO BE THE *KING OF PRIDE ROCK,* ASSHOLE!  
DAVE: hahaha  
KARKAT: GOD *DAMMIT!*  
DAVE: im sorry im sorry  
DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: i know i promised i wouldnt laugh  
KARKAT: YOUR PROMISES AREN’T WORTH SHIT, DAVE!  
DAVE: hehe  
KARKAT: SIGH.  
DAVE: aw  
DAVE: im sorry karkat im really really sorry ok  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: HMMMPH.  
DAVE: im sure youre gonna be the fucking king of the jungle someday  
DAVE: you are gonna be so scary  
KARKAT: OH FUCK YOU.  
DAVE: you wanna finish this story now  
KARKAT: NOT REALLY, NO.  
DAVE: oh cmon  
DAVE: you cant roar for shit but youre actually a really good storyteller  
DAVE: please it was just gettin good  
KARKAT: IT WAS GOOD THE WHOLE TIME, DAVE!  
KARKAT: YOU JUST FINALLY STARTED PAYING ATTENTION AT THE END!  
DAVE: no dude i swear to god i was hangin on every word of that ripe nonsense  
DAVE: im actually really invested  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: cmon karkat it was a dark and stormy morning there was no caffeine tensions were high damon was being a total tool and affleck finally snapped and let out a mighty roar rivaled only by the one future you is gonna cook up to put me in my place and make me shit the bed  
KARKAT: ...  
DAVE: cmon what happened next  
KARKAT: SIGH.  
KARKAT: FIIINE.  
KARKAT: SO AFFLECK LET OUT A MIGHTY ROAR TO RIVAL ONLY THE ONE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE SOMEDAY WHEN I SCARE YOU AND YOU LOOK DOWN AND REALIZE YOU HAVE ACTUALLY LITERALLY DEFECATED INTO YOUR PANTS.  
DAVE: hahaha  
KARKAT: HE LET OUT A ROAR AND BOUNDED ACROSS SET TOWARD DAMON, HIS EYES AFLAME  
KARKAT: IN THE PROCESS KNOCKING DOWN A P.A. WHO’D GONE AROUND THE CORNER TO TROLL STARBUCKS  
DAVE: what  
KARKAT: TO FINALLY GET COFFEE FOR EVERYBODY.  
KARKAT: THE P.A. WAS BOILED ALIVE AND THE DEATH TOLL CLIMBED ONE TICK HIGHER.  
DAVE: holy shit  
KARKAT: BUT AFFLECK DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE.  
KARKAT: HE ONLY HAD EYES FOR DAMON.  
KARKAT: HE BARED HIS TEETH AND LUNGED FORWARD.  
KARKAT: HE WAS CLEARLY GOING FOR THE THROAT.  
KARKAT: THIS WAS IT.  
KARKAT: THERE WAS NOTHING ANYONE COULD DO.  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: BUT!  
DAVE: !  
KARKAT: HE DIDN’T REACH DAMON’S THROAT.  
DAVE: why?  
KARKAT: BECAUSE SOMETHING GOT IN THE WAY.  
KARKAT: SOMETHING STOPPED HIM.  
DAVE: ???  
KARKAT: IT WAS ALAN RICKMAN.  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: what the fuck  
KARKAT: ALAN RICKMAN THREW HIMSELF IN AFFLECK’S PATH, THRUSTING HIS HAND IN THE WAY OF THOSE JAWS.  
KARKAT: HE LOST THREE FINGERS.  
KARKAT: BUT HE MANAGED TO STAY AFFLECK’S DEATH BLOW.  
KARKAT: HIS HEROIC SACRIFICE MELTED BOTH DAMON AND AFFLECK’S HEARTS.  
KARKAT: THE FIRE OF THEIR RESPECTIVE ENMITIES WENT OUT IN AN INSTANT, BANKED DOWN TO THE SENSUOUS, SEETHING EMBERS OF A LASTING KISMESISSITUDE.  
DAVE: ...  
KARKAT: NOW MADE ALL THE STRONGER BY ALAN RICKMAN’S BRAVE AUSPISTICISM, A SELFLESS AND TRUE LOVE THAT LASTED LITERALLY UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD.  
KARKAT: ...WHICH WOUND UP BEING ONLY ABOUT FIVE SWEEPS LATER.  
KARKAT: BUT IT *DEFINITELY* WOULD’VE GONE ON LONGER IF IT’D GOTTEN THE CHANCE.  
DAVE: you have got to be fucking kidding me  
KARKAT: IT’S THE GREATEST LOVE STORY OF OUR TIME, DAVE!  
DAVE: no  
KARKAT: NO??  
DAVE: nope  
DAVE: its too much  
DAVE: you went too far  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT?  
KARKAT: THIS IS A TRUE FUCKING STORY!  
DAVE: maybe it is karkat  
DAVE: maybe it is  
DAVE: but that doesnt mean i have to put up with it  
KARKAT: YES IT DEFINITELY DOES, DAVE.  
DAVE: yeah nope  
DAVE: this is just too much bullshit  
DAVE: i was pretty into it for a while  
DAVE: but at the end it just got way too dumb  
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY??  
DAVE: yep we have officially crossed the stupid bullshit threshold  
KARKAT: OH YEAH?  
DAVE: yeah dude you picked me up all bridal style i thought you were gonna at least carry me over the threshold  
DAVE: but you just fuckin kicked down the door of the honeymoon suite  
DAVE: theres no threshold anymore its in a million pieces the doors just fuckin gone  
DAVE: all thats left is a big hole in the wall you marched straight through it and ravished me with stupid bullshit  
KARKAT: OH DID I?  
DAVE: yep  
DAVE: our kids are gonna be half human half troll and all stupid fucking bullshit  
KARKAT: OH SO THEY’RE TAKING AFTER YOU?  
DAVE: fuck you man  
KARKAT: NO, FUCK YOU, DAVE!  
KARKAT: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT AND BEAUTIFUL PART OF MY CULTURE, AND BY GOD YOU’RE GONNA FUCKING RESPECT IT!  
DAVE: id love to bro but its just too fucking dumb  
DAVE: it is physically and spiritually impossible for me to respect that moronic ass story  
DAVE: i have a moral obligation to my species to shit all over it  
KARKAT: AND I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO *MY* SPECIES TO FUCKING DEFEND IT TO THE DEATH!  
DAVE: there is no way this story means something to you guys  
KARKAT: YOU WANNA BET?  
KARKAT: TEXT ANY TROLL. RIGHT NOW. ASK THEM ABOUT IT.  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: maybe i will  
KARKAT: MAYBE YOU SHOULD.  
DAVE: ok  
KARKAT: OK.  
KARKAT: GO AHEAD.  
KARKAT: I’LL WAIT.  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: ok  


turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  


TG: yo kanaya i need you to settle a bet  
TG: and by that i mean rule on the side of sanity and help me stick it to karkat  
TG: you in?  
GA: That Depends Entirely Upon The Nature Of The Bet  
GA: In Nearly Any Field I Am More Than Willing To Serve As An Impartial Judge  
GA: But If This Is An Argument Concerning Matters Of Musical Taste  
GA: I Should Warn You That My Opinions May Be Unfairly Weighted In Karkats Favor  
TG: wait  
TG: what the hell are you saying  
TG: do you not appreciate my flow maryam  
GA: I Dont Think I Said That Exactly  
TG: gog damn  
GA: And Anyway As I Said It Is Purely A Matter Of Taste  
TG: yeah wrong taste  
TG: wait  
TG: hold up  
TG: are you insinuating karkat fucking agrees with you  
GA: No He Has Told Me On Several Occasions That He Actually Deeply Enjoys Your Music  
TG: yeah youre goddamn right  
GA: Despite My Best Efforts  
TG: holy shit  
TG: i dont know if i even want you judging anymore  
TG: youve wounded me too deeply  
GA: I Could Put Rose On  
GA: You Two Also Have A Tendency To Agree In Strangely Unexpected Ways  
TG: no it cant be her its gotta be a troll  
GA: Intriguing  
GA: What Is The Bet  
TG: ok its not so much a bet as karkats spouting some prime nonsense and i need you to tell me if hes full of shit more than usual  
GA: Oh I See  
GA: I Can Do That  
TG: yeah kanaya pullin through  
TG: ok so  
TG: mind blank no prior biases about ill science or otherwise  
GA: Of Course  
TG: when i say the names matt damon and ben affleck to you  
TG: whats the first thing that comes to mind  
GA: Oh Thats Easy  
GA: Its Obviously Their Great Caliginous Showdown  
GA: The One That Occurred On The Set Of  
GA: One Moment  
TG: ok  
TG: wait  
TG: i can see you typing and i know its a movie title so its gonna be a while  
TG: so before you put a lot of time into it lemme just say if you actually tell me the whole title of that movie im gonna have to smother karkat with my cape  
TG: hell know why he has to die hell understand  
TG: but youll have to live with it on your conscience  
TG: so just stop right now  
TG: forget the title  
TG: and tell me  
TG: did anything else big happen on that fateful day  
GA: Yes Of Course  
GA: Thats The Day Their Hate Very Nearly Boiled Over Into Tragedy  
GA: But Was Stopped At The Last Second By The Incredible Auspisticial Efforts Of Alan Rickman  
GA: Marking The Start Of An Unrivaled Ashen Romance And The Greatest Love Story Known To Modern Times  
TG: ...  
TG: god fucking dammit  
GA: Is That Not The Answer You Were Looking For  


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  


KARKAT: WHAT’D SHE SAY?  
DAVE: she uh  
DAVE: she had no idea shed never heard of it  
DAVE: she also said to tell you she could hear your little roar from across the meteor and you sounded cute as hell  
KARKAT: I’M TELLING YOU, DAVE.  
KARKAT: ASK ANYBODY YOU WANT.  
KARKAT: YOU CAN ASK THE GHOSTS.  
KARKAT: YOU CAN ASK FUCKING GAMZEE.  
KARKAT: THEY’LL ALL TELL YOU THE SAME THING.  
KARKAT: MATT DAMON, BEN AFFLECK, AND ALAN RICKMAN.  
KARKAT: THE GREATEST LOVE STORY OF OUR TIME.  
DAVE: son of a bitch  



End file.
